The start of any natural relationship is something that is always VERY exciting...the problem is knowing when you are actually in a natural relationship and "Exclusive" without having that conversation...

There are so many people who fall into a relationship without really knowing that is what is happening and it can take you by surprise. If you have found someone that started on a platonic level then you start hanging out more often than you would with just a friend...they have become your go to person and in other words if you have a party to go to and your bestie can't make it then you have to find someone else at short notice to replace them right? This new person would be the on you are asking right?

So you start hanging out, having lunch, going to dinner and movies, the usual friendship stuff. So it's just a friendship right....then one day you start wondering if you are getting into a relationship and you really miss them when you can't be with them...you miss them and think about them all the time...then it hits you like a giant yellow school bus....this "friend" puts a huge smile on your face all the time...hmm what is this? Is this a relationship?

Yes it is...you are getting into a relationship at a subconscious level and may not even realise what you are doing. It's when you start trading your time with your friends to spend time with this person...that's when you are officially in the romantic space...it's no longer a friendship...it's much more!

How do you feel when you see their name pop up on your phone, when you answer their texts, do you get butterflies at the thought of them, are you nervous and excited at the same time? This is the moment when you realise it's no longer a friendship and very much a romantic feeling. If you realise that you are both in the same situation, you both want to talk all the time or have any type of contact at least once to multiple times a day..that's when you know you are in a relationship...and you've probably been in one for a while!

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So you've been seeing your partner for a while now and  you've been missing them a lot lately...now you're wondering why you're missing him when a few hours pass by?
Well the most likely answer is that you are becoming emotionally attached to them...your feelings do get stronger over time and this happens when you are especially close to each other and tend to share almost everything.

So when you are away from your partner there feels like a piece of you either emotionally or physically is missing, almost like you are missing your other half...am I right? This is the kind of emotional attachment that is caused by the chemicals that get released when we begin to fall in love. There is one particular chemical that creates a euphoric, elated and attached feeling that draws you in...it's called dopamine. This would explain the feelings that you are going through both physical and psychological. This could also be a big part of the reason that you may get a little worried when your partner isn't around and you may feel like you are missing out on something...or even get a little concerned that they are around other people.

I wouldn't say this is because you are a jealous person but rather you feel like you should be taking up most of your partners time and if you aren't then you are missing out on something. When you end up in a relationship a sense of ownership is almost granted to both parties and this feeling can get stronger with time, it's the same feeling you would get with a dog or cat. If you don't give your dog or cat enough attention or they give more attention to someone else you may feel left out or vice versa.

This is a natural human reaction when you are emotionally attached to someone...so don't freak out you aren't going crazy...just make sure you react to it all naturally and don't turn into a crazy person!

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So you've found someone you really like and things seem to be going well...then you find out that they are actually into someone else...what do you do next? ...move on...seriously!

During lunch today with a guy friend he actually told me he felt like he had to win over the girl he was crushing on...it made me realise that we have this need for victory, like we have to win whenever someone else comes into the situation. When you break it down though, it really is a waste of time, if the person you like, likes someone else then their heart is invested in someone else...and you are just not in the picture.

What you need to do is redirect that energy into finding and investing it in someone else. There is a reason that this person isn't interested, If you didn't make it obvious before this that you had feelings for them then you are now dealing with the reality of the old saying "time kills all deals". This is a life lesson.

If you like someone and you are both single then don't waste any time, you need to make your move before someone else does. There may have been a few times that you tried to talk to them in the past but ended up talking yourself out of it. Think about it, how many times did you watch them walk across the room instead of stopping them and actually talking to them...because you couldn't pull it together, you've lost your chance for now...it may not be forever and if it is then it means it wasn't meant to be. 

These are the cruel life lessons that are actually at your benefit. What you learn here is the importance of acting on your feelings while you have the chance and you won't want to make the same mistake in the future. While it sucks...move on. Stop daydreaming and start living your life, keep an eye out for the next person and if you see them, today, tomorrow or next year...GO AND TALK TO THEM!

You may have had feelings for this person but there if it's meant to be...it will!!!

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One of the biggest things that hold someone back from expressing themselves and how they really feel is trust...it's not about touch but rather trust and believing in yourself. A huge reason why many people aren't expressive is because they are uncomfortable about something. Think back to the last person you started dating that you held back from...why was that?
Most people believe that if they begin expressing themselves in their own way, their partner wouldn't approve or wouldn't understand.

This may be the one thing that is worrying you. Another explanation could be that you really don't know how to as you haven't been an expressive person in the past...so how do you start trusting in your partner?

Letting go of your inhibitions and understanding the person you are with is the first and utmost important thing. You have shared stories with each other and may even have met each others friends and family...from a females perspective that is a HUGE thing...because approval from those we care about the most is something that we hold dear no matter what we say. A girls friends and family are our whole universe and if they don't like the person they are dating...that can cause HUGE problems.

Take a step back and think about everything you know about your partner, what does it tell you about them? It should be telling you that they are human with opinions, likes and dislikes, loves and hates just like everyone else.

What you need to do is trust that, trust that they are sincere and accept that they are who they are, nothing more and nothing less.

The next thing you need to do is start believing in yourself...easier said than done right?

Start by understanding who you are and why you are in the relationship. What do you want to achieve in life? Are you happy as you are or do you want more? Find yourself by accepting who you are and taking the steps to be the person you want to be. You need to be comfortable in your own skin with all your highs and lows and be confident enough to say this is me, take it or leave it. The best way to do this is to trust and believe in yourself.

When you trust and believe in each other, accepting each other for who they are then it will be much easier for you to be more expressive with your partner because you will just BE... You will trust them, believe in yourself and be open to express how you feel, what you think and share your experiences without the chains of inhibitions. You are the one that holds the key to being expressive and sharing yourself...unlocking the happiness you crave...all you have to do is use the key!

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Everyone likes to be made to feel special, we all like to be complimented no matter what we think. When we are in relationships we think that it's just a part of the relationship...so when your partner doesn't compliment you anymore the first thing you think is "Do they even like me anymore?"...The truth is...they probably still do!

With guys they act differently to females who are very emotionally driven. Many guys will act like they don't care about girls to make them feel insecure...that's just game playing and NOT ON! (same goes for girls who do this too!)

These types of guys won't compliment a girl to make sure the girl is only thinking about them...stopping them from going and finding someone that WOULD compliment them and essentially wondering why the guy they like isn't complimenting them. This allows the guy to be in complete control. He knows that he can be in control of the relationship by ensuring that the woman isn't hearing what she wants to hear. This is very cruel however it does work for a lot of guys and if he is holding back the compliments then there is a chance that he does actually like you but is just playing games.

9 times out of 10 he is winning when he sees the effect he is having on you and you want to hear from him more, you want to read into the smiles and are dying to hear him say a kind word to you. You are wanting to be acknowledged and this continues the cycle...you're playing right into his hand. This is a very effective method for guys who are very good at getting the attention of girls because it works.

What you need to ask yourself is if you really like him enough to keep playing the game. You need to know if getting a compliment from him is worth the headache? If it isn't then it's time to move on.

The part that sucks is that the guys who play these games are generally more interested in the game than the person they are playing with, if they do end up dating you then they will definitely wear the pants in your relationship, they know how to manipulate you and will continue to do it, this leaves you in a very vulnerable position...is it really worth it?

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Hmm this is a very big question. In today's day and age of technology we have a lot more options when it comes to dating than the older generations that never had social apps or sites. There are a wide variety of options when you want to meet people and because of that the older generations have a one up on today's dating generation. We are in the age of instant gratification and back in the era of actually having to get to know people, taking the time to talk and build relationships from friendships it was much easier to find someone who actually fit your perfect person profile. This gave people the chance to really get to know someone and it was harder to avoid the sticky situations. Back then people knew what they were getting themselves into when they did get serious about someone. In the age of technology it has become about how can this person make me feel happy RIGHT NOW!

With the culture of INSTANT today people skip over what they want for the future and settle for what makes them happy in this very second. People aren't stopping to think about the consequences of tomorrow and because of that they find spending time to find out more about someone over a longer time boring and a waste of time.

People are jumping into relationships quicker than ever today and probably shouldn't, they hope that by doing so will give them the instant happiness the need and this causes relationships to end quicker because they weren't the right person to begin with. The person they are jumping into a relationship with isn't who they really wanted or they are just doing it in a moment of boredom.

If someone does just want to jump into a relationship with you, STOP and think about why...what is the real reason for NOW NOW NOW. The best advice I can give is to stop, take each day as it comes and if things are going too quickly, remember that the world isn't going to end if you don't snap this person up now...if they aren't there tomorrow, in a week or month...they weren't the right person to begin with and it's time to start fishing in the ocean that is...the dating pool.

Happy dating!

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I have always followed my star sign, love compatibility match etc etc however in my love life, the ones I shouldn't be compatible with are the ones that I have connected with on a much deeper level. An example is someone in my love life is an Aries and with my star sign...that's a big NO NO. So believing in star signs and astrology has a huge impact on your love life. I haven't been one to get too carried away with them however there are many people out there that do and that can be a bad thing...or a good thing depending on how you look at it. The type of people that I am referring to are the ones that read everything as though it is gospel and get way too carried away with it...to the point of being obsessed.

In this life you never know who you are going to meet and the best way to take a star sign is to just enjoy it for what it is...written by someone on a daily basis who believes that is the best way for the message to be received. There is no problem in reading your horoscope and maybe even learning something new about different types of people but that's really all it should be used for. Like I said before, just because it's written doesn't make it true. Everyone's dating life is different and it shouldn't be influenced by someone writing about it...not even me. You should be the one to make the decisions, who you date and what you do from there. Just because your horoscope says you shouldn't be compatible with someone doesn't make it true...you could have just walked away from someone who could have been your true love!

There have been many times that I have read my horoscope and thought WOW that is totally on ball with my day and others I have thought...that's utter crap! I like to read mine at the end of the day to ensure it doesn't influence anything that COULD happen. Don't take it too seriously unless it actually NAMES the person you are dating!!!

Write any questions below and I will get to them asap.

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We've all been there...it's the horrible Ex factor that no one wants to admit...sometimes there is just unfinished business we all feel we are being held back by. So you have thought about your ex a lot since you broke up and you want to clear the air. You get in touch with them and they say the one thing you don't EVER want to hear..."NO". It's like a stab in the heart all over again. When you ex says they don't want to catch up again because they don't want to open up old wounds...what does it REALLY mean?

The reality of this situation is that...they may very well have moved on emotionally from the relationship and really don't want to be put into a hard position. A lot of the time it's because they don't want to put in any more effort as they don't see the point. What you really need to be asking in this situation is why you REALLY want to meet up with you ex!

As much as we don't want to admit it, a lot of the time its because we want to rekindle a past relationship because you are currently alone and have a real fear of it. In moments like this you are at your most vulnerable and irrational, you crave what you used to have and start thinking that it might be better the next time around...the truth is that...there is a reason you are ex's. People who are ex's get together again all the time, they think that they can make the relationship work again but the truth is people change and you may not be compatible anymore.

Sit down, alone and think about why it really matters that much to you. You may still love them but take a second to think if they are really the right person for you right now. Isn't it the best idea to love yourself and learn who you are so that you ARE ready for the right person the next time around?

When you break up with someone that is the perfect opportunity for you to grow as an individual and helps you to become a better person for the best person that comes along next time. Review all of your past relationship failures (yes thats an ugly word) however if you REALLY learn something from them then you will be able to ensure you don't make the same mistakes time and time again.

When your ex says they don't want to catch up, for whatever reason they may give, they are saying to you that they are wanting to move on with their life...that's the sign you need to move on with yours too.

Write any questions below and I will get back to you.

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I see this with my friends all the time. I am sure that there are THOUSANDS of people out there that want to know the answer to the age old question...Why doesn't he message me first but always replies straight away when I message HIM?'

I guess I am about to break girl code here...prepare yourself...If he doesn't really message you FIRST very often...it's probably because he's just no that interested. As much as it sucks to hear that...it's the one piece of truth that so many women out there just don't want to hear, but probably need to.

The fact that you are sitting there wondering why he rarely messages you first is probably the reason you have that knot in your stomach telling you that there is a real lack of connection...or even a real interest at all. When it comes to these types of situations there may be many excuses that we are all trying to rationalise "he's just playing it cool" or "he's busy" etc...

The rule of thumb here is that you aren't really in his thoughts until he gets a text from you...then he replies. That's one side but the other is that he could be allowing you to be in control. If that's the case then he is letting you do most of the work and that isn't really a good sign. Most men LOVE the hunt, it's how they are wired, If he is no longer hunting you then it means he isn't trying anymore and that indicates a REAL lack of interest. Think back to when you first meet someone, the guy does all this work to get you but when it slows down to NOTHING...he knows he has you and it's not a challenge anymore.

I just texted someone you all know of and asked him that exact question. He made a joke that he is usually waiting for me to text him back...talk about roles reversed in a relationship. This is one of the BIGGEST arguments in our relationship.

When a guy is really into a girl, they will hunt them, working hard to impress the girl and taking the initiative to text her constantly. If you are the one doing all of the work and he isn't hunting you then he isn't hungry enough to catch you. He may respond to you when you are the one doing all the work but won't do much to move things along. 

What you need to do is decide how you feel about all of this. You may be thinking that as long as you keep doing what you are doing that he will eventually come around...the problem with that is that guys will keep things how they are unless they want to change things...or you force their hand. If you do want to force his hand...STOP TEXTING HIM! If he really is interested then he will realise you aren't messaging him and worry/wonder why that is...He may change his tune and drive into hunting mode, starting to message you first but it will take a lot for you to do this. If you really are interested in him and want him to start coming after you then you may have to show him what he is missing out on! If you find it really hard start marking down the days on a calendar and if after 30 days he hasn't even tried to contact you...ignore him forever and MOVE ON...You deserve better!

Write your questions below and I will get back to you asap.

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Lets state the obvious first...the most common writers of love letters are women. We as women are more emotionally charged and because of that we find the most inspiration in quotes. I don't know of many women that haven't shared or sent at least ONE quote to someone they care about, be it friend, family, crush or love. When you are writing a letter to someone you admire the best thing to do is to stick to what you know. Many people make the mistake or writing something that they didn't come up with originally and use a sappy quote, just like the one below.

While it may seem like a good idea at the time, think back and see if those words really embody what you are trying to tell the one you love. Does it TRULY fit your situation as everyone is different. If you are using other peoples words, while it may seem romantic it can also appear tired or even fake, you never know who has sent that exact quote to the person you are writing to in the past. Do you really want to remind them of past memories? In today's day and age the internet could ruin any chance that you have with your crush/new love by recycling old tired quotes. If you think that your crush wouldn't like you because of what is running through your head, or you don't feel that you can put your thoughts onto paper, think again!

Your letter/message/note should be an original piece of work, something that comes from the heart. Think about what makes you happy, what you like about that person and write what YOU really feel. If you need to think about something else that makes you happy and relate it back to the person you are writing to then do it, whatever will help you to unlock that piece of originality that will set you apart from anyone else thinking about doing the same thing.

My parents used to write letters to each other all the time, my father is the LAST person you would expect to write a love letter and yet his letters make even ME cry because they truly came from the heart. 

When you write your crush a letter remember to keep it short and to the point. Depending on how you know them, how much of an interaction you have had with them and what the topic is that you want to discuss, make sure that you don't make it something they will get bored of reading. Make sure that you check your spelling and grammar, I can honestly say that I hate reading something that has many mistakes (my own work included).

The best piece of advice I can offer is to write the letter, leave it 12 hours, come back to it and read it again. If you need to make any changes then wait another 12 hours and repeat the cycle. Only send it when you have NOTHING else to add to it. Then you know it's what you REALLY want to send, if you even want to send it anymore. So many people make the mistake of sending something they regret much later...myself included.

If you follow this basic guide, you will deliver the best note possible. Make sure you keep a track on what you have written, don't write the same thing more than once and switch up the tone as much as you can. Keep it light and fluffy and save the hard truths for face to face moments.

Write any questions below and I will get back to them asap!

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